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The Hardest Death
By: Ed Dobson
Text: 2 Samuel 1:26; Romans 8:35-39
Topic: When a beloved church member and friend takes his own life, Dobson asks the hard questions—and offers suggestions for dealing with grief.
Big Idea: Following a suicide, faith must be adjusted one minute at a time.
Keywords: Death, mourning for; Death, physical; Funerals; Suicide
Introduction
- The death of a friend to suicide is, frankly, the most difficult death to face.
- Illustration: Truman Dollar, one of Dobson's parishioners and a best friend, had been dealing with depression for months when he committed suicide earlier in the week.
Only the truth of Scripture can set us free.
- David's lament of Jonathan's death (2 Sam. 1:26) expresses the deep grief when you lose a close friend.
- Truman often told Dobson there were three things in ministry to know:
- It's never as good as it seems
- It's never as bad as it seems
- The greatest myth of all is that you can fix it. It never gets fixed.
- Dobson: "I'm pretty mad at him because he didn't practice what he preached."
Why would a person commit suicide?
- Dobson says he can think of only two answers:
- None of us will ever really know why
- It wasn't the Truman we all knew.
- We can only do what is right; we cannot change or control the choices of another person.
- We must not, cannot, accept the guilt and responsibility of another's choices.
- "I hope this doesn't sound uncaring: He failed. He made the choice."
What happens to a suicide victim after he dies?
- Some theologians believe you forfeit heaven, but the Bible refutes that: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" (Romans 8:35). Nothing.
- Truman is in heaven not because of what he did, but because of his faith in Christ.
- Truman is in God's presence, but God was not pleased with what he did.
What now?
- Trust God one second at a time, not a day at a time. A day is too long in a crisis.
- Forgive the person who committed suicide for what he/she did.
- Make four resolutions:
- Do not judge or condemn the person; that's God's responsibility.
- Do not speculate or gossip; Christians are some of the worst gossipers.
- Do not judge the person's life by his/her last hour; that's only a tiny percentage of the entire life.
- Keep on loving and caring for people, even if they rip out part of your heart.
Conclusion
- If you're depressed, seek professional, Christian help right away.
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